Dear Readers,
I have heard several parent discussions as they wonder how to explain the reality of Santa to their children. I am not sure if this will help. But, all I can do is share my story:
When my oldest son was only 3 1/2 years old, he came to me stating quite matter-of-factly that “Santa can’t be real.” This took place right in the kitchen of our old house. I was initially stunned that he was making such an announcement. It was more like a declaration of a well-known fact. All I could think was, “who told him?”. I covered it up by telling him, “don’t be silly, of course, Santa is real.” I asked where he had heard such ridiculous news. His reply: “I just know because it is impossible for reindeer to fly and it is impossible for one man to deliver toys to every household in the world in one night … so it has to be the moms and dads.” I was in complete shock, but being as brilliant as I want to think I am, I responded with, “Bobby, don’t be ridiculous! Mom and Dad can’t do all of that in one night because we have to go to bed and get our sleep. And, don’t forget that episode of ‘Blues Clues’ when Steve explained that while one side of the earth has daylight, the other side has night-time. So…Santa really travels with the night sky around the globe. He has plenty of time using his Santa magic.” I thought I had him on that one. I could tell that he was processing the information as he left the room. Maybe 5 minutes later, he returned to the kitchen with an actual basketball-sized globe. He set it on the table and studied it. He spun it around several times slowly before announcing that he had come to the same conclusion as before. “It’s impossible.” I ended it with a “don’t be silly.” I would neither confirm nor deny. I believe I did tell him to not say such stuff to other kids.
On Christmas Eve of Bobby’s 6th grade year, our family was getting ready for Christmas Eve service at our church. Bobby was supposed to be getting himself ready. With only a few minutes before we were to leave, I found Bobby sitting on the living room floor near the Christmas tree. He was not dressed for church. He wasn’t even making an attempt. I told him to hurry up and get ready because we are leaving in a few minutes. He, once again, so matter-of-factly, muttered that he wasn’t going. Needless to say, turmoil resulted in our home – right before church – on Christmas Eve. Before a heated order was issued by me, I suddenly froze – just looking at him. “Bobby, do you believe in God?” His response was “No. He is no different from Santa. They are both make-believe.” I gasped for air, and tears started flowing. In my head I asked myself, “How could this be? This is not how he was raised. We are all believers of God in this house. He is in 6th grade! How could he come to such a conclusion?” Then, of course, I revert back to my selfish pride – “What will God think of me? I have failed as a parent. He gave me this beautiful baby boy to love and nurture. I was supposed to teach him about God and how to love Him and how to have faith! Where did I go wrong? I thought I had been doing right all along.” I went upstairs and cried in sobs. I could hardly breathe.
Bobby did not go to church that Christmas – and he has not been back since. Bobby is now 18 years old. He continues to deny the existence of God. He is a young man with a very high IQ and has a difficult time with believing in that which can not be seen.
It has taken me until this year to even begin to explain the connection between God and Santa. I so wish that I’d have had the answer then.
This blog is written with the intention of helping other parents make that connection for their own children. All of them grow up and find out sooner or later. I am wondering if we should maybe choose a time that seems right for our own child and tell them before they find out through the grapevine – because then they develop doubts about everything else we have told them. Maybe a special time devoted to just you and your child would help your child feel special in that he/she is being let in on a great big secret. How special a moment that could be!
I am sharing just one section of my book with you – in time for Christmas. This question and answer are on pages 58 and 59 of “The Wonder of It All” by Miss Mary.
“Now for the most anticipated question of all: Where
does Santa fit in?
This one is a bit more difficult to
explain. Some parents have chosen to acknowledge
Christmas as a celebration of Jesus’ birth and do not
acknowledge Santa at all. This is a beautiful thing.
Their reasoning is often that their children will grow
up believing that Santa is no different from God, so
both of them must be make-believe. This is a very
logical rationale and there is nothing wrong with it. It
is most definitely a compelling and legitimate reason
for not acknowledging Santa Claus at Christmas.
After all, the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ is what
is to be celebrated.
My family celebrates Christmas with Santa Claus.
I prefer to view Santa as a spiritual mystery. At a
very young age, children can learn about Santa, about
how wonderful he is, and about how you cannot wait
up for him on Christmas Eve, because Santa won’t
come if you are awake. You cannot see him while
he is at work. He does wonderful things for us like
miraculously placing toys beneath the Christmas
tree while we are sleeping. Our children respond by
being taught to do good things for him in return, like
leaving a plate of cookies and a glass of milk, because
you know how hungry he must be from traveling
house to house delivering all of those toys.
Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh cannot be seen. You
just need to believe—at least until you are old enough
to understand that the magic of Christmas is our way
of teaching children about God’s many miracles. As
humans, we can not possibly provide real miracles,
but we can open our children’s eyes and hearts to
know what one of God’s miracles might feel like.
Santa is a wonderful way of opening the door for
our children to know and love God. For though both
God and Santa do not need to be seen in action, they
need to be felt in your heart and in your soul.”
My book is in story form, retelling many popular stories from The Old Testament. Each biblical story ends with several thought-provoking questions that lead to the explanation of why Jesus was ever sent to us. The book ultimately answers such questions as “What makes Jesus special above everyone else? Aren’t we all God’s children?” and “Will anyone celebrate my birthday in two thousand years?”
“The Wonder of It All” by Miss Mary is intended to be a conversation starter for families, religious education classes, bible study groups, book clubs, and more! If you need help opening the door for discussion with your child about God and Jesus Christ, please consider purchasing this book at Amazon.com or through any other major book retailer online. $7.99.
Wishing all of you an incredible, Merry Christmas – from the bottom of my heart! – Miss Mary
missmarybelieves 